The week I had an out of body experience.

Expect nothing because this post has no direction whatsoever. Now if in the chaos of words you find a head, good for you, may it lead you to a tail.

I come from a family of ramblers; I guess its what we do best.

It all started with a request and that's all you need to know.The event(s) following this request has plagued and traumatized me so much so that I fear its a memory that I may never rid of.
worst thing about it is that there is no one, absolutely no one to confide in: everyone is in their strait jacket, eyes forward and neck straight. neck straightened with the iron of pain.
Only God but sometimes (I should know better) even he too seems far away.

Bottom-line is I feel helpless, condemned, accused, brow-beaten and good for nothing

I feel like a fragile spirit that was deceived, trapped, and caged.
Teased out of the cage at the whim of my captors only to be poked back in by the sharp end of their pitchforks.

I feel so condemned and heavy hearted that I cant even reach out to God for fear of staining his pure righteousness with my stubborn refusal to be redeemed even after the price has been paid.

Everyone says that to me so it must be true.
Love Lou.

The Penultimate. Part 1

Today is one of those barmy summer days, the kind you only read about in books and watch in romantic movies. LOL
Anyway I got up quite early today; 5am to be precise and it was already light. My back was hurting because I fell asleep last night in the living room. I find its easier that way.
So I tried having breakfast at like 11am but the milk had gone off. needless to say, I'm starving and all but I cant really do anything until I've dealt with the daemons in my room.
I have until 10:00pm tonight and time is important.
Good afternoon.

Post event re-order.

Hi everyone,  its been a while. I've been stuck in holiday mode whilst trying to pack, move houses and start writing my dissertation as I'll be resuming my final year come September.
Also Google in their apparently infinite wisdom decided to suspend my blog because I used 'Lou Bloggs' as my username, lol, bunch of wenches!
Anyhooo, I dunno whats wrong with me. I feel  like I'm sabotaging every relationship around me, like......
yeah so I've come here to pen a few words so they can leave my head and live on these pages instead
Pree:


Why rock the boat and make waves?
When everything's calm and ok
Why am I confused if you love me?
I thought this would be smooth sailing...

The events that happened prior to this post gat me thinking I ain't never gonna commit to a healthy r/ship
I hope that wont be the case though.
much love
Lou xoxoxo

Pat on the back. Big Smiles. Waving to everyone.x

Hahahahahaha. this is actually funny. I cant believe I finally did it. I know it may sound cliche but for so many years I've been giving my self excuses as to why I should not open a blog. But I finally did it (Thank you Jesus).
Well I gotta go now cos I've got a law exam coming up next week Thursday and I've only just started revising.
BOTTOM LINE IS: I DID IT. THANK GOD!